So today pretty much sucks. I went to the Doctor and my lovely sutures around my belly button have opened up and are infected. At least its only one of the sites from the surgery. I really think they should have avoided the belly button region anyway. But tomorrow I have to return for some antibiotics and for them to close up the smelly hole that is about an inch from my belly button. Also while at the Doctor I found out that my grandfather passed away today. I’m not really sure how someone passes away while on life support. It doesn’t really make any sense to me. Just yesterday we were told his status hadn’t changed. But I guess tomorrow I will get more details. Everyone was all crying and upset on the phone so I couldn’t really understand what they were saying. It was crazy cause when my uncle told me I was like, “well can’t they do something”. I mean really with so much technology how does someone go in for a routine procedure and dies about a week later. I’m pretty sure an investigation will be done, because that’s a pretty unexpected way to go. Dumb ass doctors should have not changed operating rooms during the surgery. I really wish I would have spent more time in June with him. I should have just stayed down there in Florida till nursing school started back, instead of promising to return during the holidays. It just seems so unreal, like I might get a call and they will say they were able to revive him or something. But of course that call will never come. I’m just trying not to think about it really. That never ending week from hell just keeps on going.
Pain, Pain, and More Pain 08/25/2009
So my never ending week from hell (which is still continuing) all started on last Wednesday. I was going about my day like any other but I around 2pm I started having this nagging pain in my lower stomach. I didn’t think much of it, kept cleaning up the house and trying not to think about it. Around 4pm it was more like a stabbing feeling that would not go away. It was so painful that I could not even stand. I laid down in bed and I started thinking about my grandfather on my mothers side of the family. He passed away in 2003, but for some reason he was on my mind. Apparently it was foreshadowing the fact that my grandfather from my father’s side of the family would very soon be fighting for his own life. But anyway I was laying in bed thinking of my grandfather completely mad at myself because as he was slowly dieing of lung cancer I wrote a poem about him. I wanted to get a chance to read it to him before he passed, but I never got the opportunity because I did not know he would be dieing so suddenly from an accidental family induced drug overdose(long story), as opposed to lung cancer while I was away. So I never got to read it to him, and I hadn’t read the poem since I wrote it. I had a copy on my old computer but it crashed. However I thought I might have saved it on a disk somewhere in my keepsakes. So i was mad that I couldn’t find the disk, and couldn’t remember the poem. After laying down for an hour and the pain not going away, I slumped into the living room, laid on the couch and whipped out my laptop. I searched all over webmd for what might be causing my pain. I didn’t want to run off to the emergency room if it was going to be simple. The search came up with everything from a kidney stone to a ruptured appendix. So I decided to take some Motrin, I took about 800mg(doctors usually prescribe that much after surgery, normally most people take 400). I waited 30 mins and the pain was worse, and then I was nauseous. I threw up twice in the bathroom, and my side hurt even worse. I felt like I was in labor or something the pain was simply indescribable. I called my mother and asked could she drive me to the hospital. I couldn’t even stand on my own, let alone drive. So she picks me up and we head to the hospital. When we are exiting the highway(we choose to go to the hospital about 45mins away because they have much better care) I had to throw up again. So there I am on an exit ramp, with cars zooming all past me throwing up on a guard rail.
When i get to the hospital the triage nurse took me immediately to the back. I was so shocked because that has never happened to me in an emergency room. I felt like I had won the lottery or something lol. They took me straight to lab to draw blood and start and iv. By 4am that morning I had had a cat scan, an external ultrasound, and an hour long (most painful experience) vaginal ultrasound. I had received about 10 doses of diluadid (a narcotic), lots of toradol, lot of anti-nausea medicine and I was still in so much pain. The verdict was that I had a baseball sized cyst on my ovaries and lesions(like scars) on my pelvic bone. I freaked out because I was like what could have caused it and a cyst 10 by 10 inches was pretty big to be in that area. The kicker was i had just had a normal pelvic exam 3 months ago. So they said they weren’t sure, and that I needed to follow up on the bone lesions because its common in patients with cancer that has metastasised to the bone. So of course I was scared to death, they sent me home and told me to come back in office for an MRI. Freaking insurance, none of what I was going through warranted an emergency room visit in there book so I had to get out of the emergency room. So they gave me more anti nausea medication, some Vicodin, and Motrin to take until Friday(the next day) when I could get into see the doc. I was popping pills round the clock and I was still in so much pain. By the time I made it to the doctors office on Friday all I could do was lie in a fetal position on the examining room table. I had another vaginal exam, this time i was in so much pain the mere touching of my stomach had me screaming. They told me to leave and go back to the emergency room. They didn’t know if the cyst was causing the pain, they didn’t know what was going on.
Once I made it to the emergency room I was admitted in the hospital, got another jacked up IV, and was informed I would be having abdominal surgery. My temperature was skyrocketing, and my blood pressure dropping. They gave me 5 bags of potassium. At one point the drip rate was set too high on the potassium(change of shift nurse messing with IV pole) and the potassium started to burn my arm. It normally will burn just a little while going in, but it was burning so much i couldn”t move my arm. I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore, I couldn’t even wiggle them. I started screaming, and my arm felt like it was on fire. I’ve felt a burn from certain IV fluids, but never light someone had just ignited my arm with some lighter fluid. I almost pulled the IV out of my own arm, that’s how bad I was freaking out. The nurse came running in and turned the potassium back down and had to restart the IV in another arm because my arm was swollen. It is still very bruised and sore to this day(4 days later). When they started the new line, they gave me a Dilaudid pain pump. I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. When I finally got to sleep at 3am, some genius came in and told me they needed more blood. They couldn’t take it from the IV line because I was receiving more potassium there(maybe from all the vomiting, it was so low). So he tried twice in the other arm. Finally he got it .
Around 10am the surgeon came in and explained that i would be having lapocsocpic surgery, but since they did not know what really was the problem, it might turn into full abdominal surgery. They told me the risks, which of course included death, having to have a permanent colostomy bag, or Foley catheter, or numerous other things. So that had me really scared. But they said if everything goes well it should only take about an hour to complete the surgery. So they wheeled me down, and 4 hours later I was wheeled to the recovery room. Of course my family was freaking out because they taught it was only going to be a 1 hour surgery and it turned into 4 hours. When I got back to my room, they say its a good thing that I got it done. They said that the cyst was wrapped from one side of my ovaries and fallopian tubes all the way to the other side. It was twisting and cutting off blood/oxygen to the whole area. If I would have waited I would have possibly ended up having to have a hysterectomy. They said the surgery took so long because they tried their best to save everything(which they said they were able to do, and that region is pretty resilient so I should be able to have kids in the the future again). I didn’t even care about all that because all that mattered was that the pain wasn’t as bad. I hurt, but I didn’t hurt as much. I had three pukey looking holes in my stomach but anything was better than the pain. So they released me from the hospital so I was able to go home the next day. Unfortunately I went home to a 98 degree house with no AC. Apparently when I was in the hospital the motor on the central air decided to die. So there I was two fans blasting on me, sweating my butt off, and trying to recover from abdominal surgery. Now to top it off, since leaving the hospital I’ve been fighting a cold and them time of the month. So needless to say that I am pretty miserable. I am going to add pics to this post later, because my camera is charging right now. But they are pretty gross. So that is the first part of my never ending week from hell. Today was the first day of my last year of nursing school, so I have a lot of homework to complete. I am going to try to see how much of that information that I can retain through my pain meds, I am also hoping that I will have a BM soon, because I haven’t had one since I got sick(going on a week now), and my stomach is still very painful and bloated. The only good thing about today was seeing all the other nursing students. The last time they saw me I was 220 pounds, I’m now 179. So they all said i looked great, even though I felt like crap. It was a little annoying to have to walk around in an over sized shirt and not being able to button my pants over my suture site. My Doctor has put off exercising and any strenuous activity for the next 4 weeks. So that will slow my weight loss of course. I had to buy a polo shirt out of our school bookstore for psych clinical rotations that start on Friday and I picked up an extra large. As I was getting ready to check out on of the students was like, I know that shirt isn’t for you is it. That will be way to big. She was right, i ended up buying a medium and it still fits loose. I was thrilled about that because I feel so much bigger with the bloating from the surgery. So I guess there is always a silver lining on a cloudy day somewhere.
The neverending week from hell 08/24/2009
This past, and current week has been a neverending week from hell. So this will be a multible posting day. I have so much to update on. I will be posting about my intense pain, leading to a nightmare hospital experience, leading to me having to have emergency surgery. I will also include pictures from my sutures, and my tramatized arms (brusied and blown viens). I will also post about my grandfather being in critical condition in the ICU right now. As well as the doctor I menetentioned in my last post calling me on the phone today, and leading me in a very lively conversation. There’s so much to say, and update about. So in order not to have one extremely long post, I’m going to break it up into smaller posts throughout the day. Excuse any grammical errors, because my faitful spell checker in google chrome is on the fritz as well as the side effects of the little bottle of percot I have on hand. However I will try to keep it as legible as possible. But before I begin posting I just wanted to start off with a simple THANKS! I wanted to thank all that have visted my blog in my absense. Even though I have no idea who you are, in the days when I was in the hopsital I had at least 63 vistis to the blog on one day and many more on the following days. It is kind people out there that really move me, and inspire me. There are some really great people in the LJ community 100pounds2loose who have always been there for a helping hand, a pat on the back, and just general support. While I know no one knows everything but those ladies/gentelmen over there are very helpful with dieting advice, and just all over wisdom. Many of times I have tured to them when I felt frustrated, disappointed, or just plain dissatified in this weight loss journey. There are even a few particular girls that even though I do not know them in real life, I feel for them as if they were friends. I root for them when they are doing well, and I feel their pain when they stumble. I just think its wonderful to be able to find support, understanding, and acceptance from so many people going through the same expriences as I am. There are so many great people on Sparkpeople that have been a great source of knowlege, motivation, and inspiration to me along this journey. I get a lot of, “your an inspiration” comments from new members but little do they know they are the ones that motivate me. It just touches my heart to know that there are so many good people out there trying, struggling, and fighting to succed at meeting their goals. Its like I want for them to make it, I want us all to make it! Not just in meeting our weight and fitness goals, but our life goals. It just amazes me how we may share a common thread with our struggles with weight or health and we still have that ability to give and make an inpact on each other’s lives. Not just an inpact, but a meanigful inpact. With struggles with weight, we can have a lot of self esteem problems, or just really feel down in general but it’s great to know you aren’t alone, and no one has to stuggle in the dark or by themselves. You wouldn’t believe how many people have reached out to me for help or support. Feeling like there could not be a tomorrow, or feeling like a complete failure. Just to see that turn around, that glimmer of hope, that belief in themselves is truely meaningful. Personally I am beyound thankful for your support, inspiration, motivation, and understanding. Thank you!