So today pretty much sucks. I went to the Doctor and my lovely sutures around my belly button have opened up and are infected. At least its only one of the sites from the surgery. I really think they should have avoided the belly button region anyway. But tomorrow I have to return for some antibiotics and for them to close up the smelly hole that is about an inch from my belly button. Also while at the Doctor I found out that my grandfather passed away today. I’m not really sure how someone passes away while on life support. It doesn’t really make any sense to me. Just yesterday we were told his status hadn’t changed. But I guess tomorrow I will get more details. Everyone was all crying and upset on the phone so I couldn’t really understand what they were saying. It was crazy cause when my uncle told me I was like, “well can’t they do something”. I mean really with so much technology how does someone go in for a routine procedure and dies about a week later. I’m pretty sure an investigation will be done, because that’s a pretty unexpected way to go. Dumb ass doctors should have not changed operating rooms during the surgery. I really wish I would have spent more time in June with him. I should have just stayed down there in Florida till nursing school started back, instead of promising to return during the holidays. It just seems so unreal, like I might get a call and they will say they were able to revive him or something. But of course that call will never come. I’m just trying not to think about it really. That never ending week from hell just keeps on going.
An end to that never ending week? 08/28/2009
Saying that I have been busy would be an understatement. Even though this semester of school I’m only taking 12 credits (previously taken 15 credit hours) I still seem to just have so much to do. I haven’t even cracked open the text for my psych nursing yet. I’ve just been feeling pretty down. So usually when I am reading its usually something for pleasure as opposed to try to retain some information for a class. I picked up THE RICE MOTHER from the thrift store for just 95 cents and it’s pretty interesting. It reminds me a little of the JOY LUCK CLUB, or other books my Amy Tan. I much rather read that then my American Public Policy. Man that book is so dry, the class is interesting but the textbook reads like stereo instructions. I forgot about the pharm-cal test that they give at the start of each nursing semester. I took it on thurs, and drum roll please, failed it by one point. I really thought i passed it, boy was I wrong. I should have passed it with flying colors. At this point I can do dosage calculations, and IV drip rates with my eyes closed. I’ve been given injections long enough to know the various types, and procedures. I also didn’t have any problems with the drug classification section. I’ve been on antiemtics all week so I know that things like Zofran are used to treat nasuea and vomiting. Even people who have never set foot in a nursing class can list at least one NSAID like Motrin. That morning I even skipped the narcs so that my head would be clear enough to answear the questions. But my instructor was being a biznitch and took off points on every single one of my calculations. Not for me getting them wrong, I had all the right answers. But because I didn’t put gtts/min, ml, gr, g behind the answers. Why didn’t I do something so simple? Simply because it was already on the paper! WTF I didn’t think we had to put it there if it was already next to the blank space. She was trying to be funny. She was like how would I know you didn’t mean gallons per min. WTF when doesn’t an IV drip at drops per min? She drives me crazy. Yet I kinda like her, lol. I like her honesty. I like people who are real. She is very real. Even if she is a little crazy. The very first day she told us how her son tried to kill himself twice that week. He took like 60 pills of Wellbutrin. I thought I was candid, but she takes it to another level. She has even been an inpatient a few times at a psych hospital herself. Even though she is mean, and fails people left and right. Her story of her life made her seem less like a mean person, and more human. The craziest thing she’s said so far was that as a CNA she punched a patient in the face for spitting on her and walked off the job. I would never expect to hear that from an instructor at a university. She talks about Dr. Phil a lot too. She claims going on his show changed her and her daughter’s lives. After reading the transcript of the show, I think she does handle situations better. i just find it kind of curious that they let her teach psych, even though she has known psych issues. There are at least 15 people that have failed her class and are taken it again this year. So I have mixed feelings about this lady. I think I feel drawn to her because I am going through so much right now.
I try not to even think about my grandfather that is in the hospital. Its so crazy how sudden things can happen. Last Friday he went in the get a catheter put in for dialysis. Even though he does have complete renal failure, the last time I saw him he looked so well. It was just in June, he was playing with my children, and he just reminded me so much of how he always was. It was just last year that diabetes damaged his kidneys so bad that they stopped working. Before that he would get out each morning to volunteer, took care of his self, and was so full of life. When I saw him in June, even though his kidneys were shot he still had that spunk. Since he lives far away, and I was only staying a week but i promised I would be back down the first break I had in nursing school. That would have been this November. I never thought that he might not make it to then. So as I was saying when he went in the hospital Friday to have the catheter put in he was fine. During the operation to put it in, they had to use the ER room for a serious operation so they moved him, DURING THE PROCEDURE to another OR. We are told the surgery went okay, and my grandmother said he was talking and supposed to come home the next day. Instead she gets a call that he has a raging temperature, and low blood pressure. The doctors claim that they don’t know what is causing or could have caused his infection. On weds we found out they changed rooms, breaking the sterile field during surgery. The give him four antibiotics because his condition got much worse. He became completely unresponsive, and they cannot get his temperature down. Yesterday he went from just being in ICU in critical condition to being placed on full life support. His skin also started sloughing off, and the doctors say they don’t know what’s causing it. They did a biopsy of the skin and are waiting for the results. So possibly if they know exactly what he caught they can treat it properly. I really really hope they can turn things around. I cannot even think about him passing away, because he means so much to me. He and my grandmother live very far from the rest of the family, and if something happens to him my grandmother will have to return to live with one of her children. I can just imagine this must be an impossible time for her. Some of my family were able to fly to be with her, I really want to go too. But the school made it clear that by law we have to have so many hours of clinical hospital time. So we cannot miss more than 3 days in the whole program, or you cannot graduate. I thought about going down for the weekend but this Monday I have to have an MRI, to check on those bone lesions they found. If he doesn’t get better by next weekend I will fly out there to stay for a few days. I’m just so thankful that my daughter got to spend more time with him in June. I flew her down to meet him for the first time when she was only 2 months old, and she had been there at least twice a year for months at a time visiting so she had become very attached to him. My son got to meet him for the first time in June. I know its a part of life, and everyone has their time to go. But right now it just seems so unexpected, he was doing fine before his surgery on Friday. I didn’t even get to talk to him before he went because I was in so much pain, from my own health problems. When I say this has been a never ending week from hell, I’m not even joking. But still each day I have to go about each day acting, “normal” for the kids, my boyfriend, the family, my classmates, my teachers. I don’t want to be a complete stick in the mud or a complete downer. Today in the psych hospital I really wasn’t feeling it. We where watching a video on the dangers and warning signs of NMS which can be a deadly side effect of anti psychotic drugs like Haladol and every time the video mentioned someone dieing or having to be put on life support i had to wipe tears from my eyes. Thank goodness it was dark in there, because behavior like that isn’t really apprioate in that situation. I’m hoping that since this week is almost over, my never ending week from hell is over and things will start to turn around. I have been in less pain lately. I also really wanted to post the pics from my surgery but I can’t find the charger for my digital camera. Anyway this is getting way too long so I will end it here. Next week will be a great week. I puting it out there, sending positive thoughts out into the universire. So that they WILL come true. Next week will be a much better week.